what is plan B? and other stories.

I guess we assume, that everyone's already gotten to Plan A or at least knows what it is? what's that? presumptuous you say? what ol' tosh hey!

so I am now beginning to mold out of thin air (or thick, i'm not really judgmental, tomayto to you, tomaato to me) a vague shape of a possible activity that may achieve some semblance of sanity and stabilize a depreciating sense of skill. but notice I said I'm beginning to. Only just.

I don't have a Plan B.

I wonder if I should digress.. or save this for another post? gah, why do i feel like I'm wasting virtual paper? this post it is. I wonder (after a certain conversation) about the age old thing we call love. I just had to huh? after all this time, being known for my angst, i go and bring this one up.
and it's gone. I've lost interest in it again.

now let's see, what yanks my chain? ahh now there's a bottomless pit right there. One of the things, that irks me to a great degree is that of self implied peer pressure. Imagine there is the support, no pressure to be anyone else than who u are, yet people take it upon themselves to wriggle and fit into a certain warped version of what is extraordinary. This quest is embarked upon, unfortunately for the wrong reasons...that of the IMAGE and not the actual physicality of the experiences but what a narration of these experiences can do to the image of the person in question. isn't that just plain dumb?

I guess it irks me. SO WHAT? nothing really. you just got to know me a little better.
Did i mention I've attempted to network? I'm told it's how u do things and get things done. So at some point I may not be completely honest(with some folk who I don't know from the person on the left anyway) and I'll feel guilty about it when I'm by myself attempting a culinary feat. it's either then or in the bathroom. But guilt happens.

That should be it for this post..I shall surface sooner than later, with something to say.
Always, there is something to say.